Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
