Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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