I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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