I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
