I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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