i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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