He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
