So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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