You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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