Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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