who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
