ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
