he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
