I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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