My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We're using joints as your birthday candles
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
