She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
