pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
