Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize