I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
