Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
