Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
