....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We're too hungover to prance.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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