no, he came in my armpit
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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