IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
