yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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