I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
