Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
