i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
