If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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