She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize