well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
