I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
