we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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