True but thats because hes a fetus.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
