Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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