Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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