I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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