We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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