we have pet lesbian snakes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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