I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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