I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
