At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
