Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think this conversation is over.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.