The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.