you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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