It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
