when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
