She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
