In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
