My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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