What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
