Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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