Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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