I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
