dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am one with the molecules
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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