he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
