you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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