Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
