She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
