I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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