But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
