I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
