That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
